In one week, my semester-long sabbatical comes to an end. The title of this post is meant to suggest two meanings of that word “on.” First, I want to take a moment to reflect on what this time has meant for me, and second, I want to remind myself that I am still on sabbatical for one more precious week. Maybe that’s the most important meaning, given the many times over these five months I’ve found myself lamenting the ticking of the clock. Two weeks ago I posted on Facebook that I *only* had three weeks left, and several very wise friends gently shifted my glass-half-empty perspective: I still had three whole weeks left! Stay in the damn moment, Sheila!

Which has always been hard for me, if I’m being honest. I’m either dwelling deep in my past or worrying about the future. But this gift of time definitely had the welcome effect of slowing me down some. It gave me time to consider, reflect and envision. Not every day–some days I still fought with or even succumbed to the maelstrom in my head–but there were enough moments of calm to start some repair at both somatic and spiritual levels.

At least I hope so.

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Back in January, I wrote about my goals for sabbatical:

In my sabbatical, I will write some and paint some and try to get better at both things. I will read and cook and eat and sleep. I may try to re-launch a proper newsletter (would you like that?) and focus on selling my artwork. I’d love to have a proper art show. Eventually, I will garden. I will spend time with my family and my dogs and (re)connect with friends. Maybe I’ll make some new friends, too.

So how’d I do? Pretty well, honestly.

First of all, I traveled to do some readings and events to promote my new essay collection. In those travels, I reconnected with old, dear friends and felt securely held by them. It was such a necessary balm for my spirit.

In terms of new writing, I confronted the thing I’ve been putting off for three years: watching the video interviews I did with my mom before she died and using them as a jump point for drafting a memoir about her life and our relationship. There is a Substack newsletter that accompanies this work for anyone interested: https://sheilasquillante.substack.com/. I’m in a pause space as I consider the next steps there.

I have also been working on my manuscript for my New and Selected poems, which will be published with Braddock Avenue Books in 2025.

So that’s the “write some” part. For the “paint some,” I have continued to work most days for at least a little while in my basement studio. The bulldog of my heart posed an unforeseen problem as he did NOT like it when I left his side. Lots of whining and barking and general grousing which was utterly distracting. Sigh. Maybe someday I’ll have a studio outside of the house. I sold a couple of paintings but I had hoped to get a better handle on how to make my Etsy shop actually viable, and that has not yet panned out. However, I joined a women’s art collective in the city and hope to learn from the more seasoned artists there. I did show paintings in the Pittsburgh Fringe Festival and at Art All Night, and am getting ready to hang my first solo show of 40 watercolor and ink paintings at the Fox Chapel library. Exciting!

Maybe my favorite creative project of the sabbatical brings together these two parts–my writer self and my artist self. Since I started painting a few years ago, many people have asked me about the connection between my writing and my visual art. I don’t have answers that totally satisfy me yet, and I know there are others like me out there who began with a pen and then picked up something else. What can I learn from their answers? Or their journeys? To this end, I have begun recording interviews for a new podcast called My Other Pen: Conversations with Writers Who Have a Second Artistic Practice. The response I got to this was overwhelming and I will be busy all summer with interviews and plan to launch in the fall. Follow along! https://myotherpen.substack.com/

I’ve always wanted to learn podcasting, so I’m just jumping into the deep end here. Excited to see where it goes and find applications I can bring into my teaching.

Did I reconnect with old friends? Yes, and bless them. Bless them.

Did I make some new friends? I hope so? Stay tuned.

Did I garden? Oh, hell yes. Oh, ongoing plant-y happiness!

Did I rest? Well, I sure tried. I stayed completely off of my work email, only checking in when absolutely urgent. (My wonderful colleagues protected me from much, I know.) I attempted to start a meditation practice (see “in the moment” above) but am still struggling there.

I dyed my hair dark pink.

I deep-cleaned several rooms in my house. Not rest, but restorative, if you see what I mean.

Have I spent time with my family? Yes, of course. It’s a time of Big Things Happening over here, with Josie getting ready to travel to France with school in June and Rudy about to graduate from high school. Paul and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in just a few days. This gift of time off and away from campus responsibilities has allowed me to feel really present for these important milestones. Super grateful for that.

Would I like another five months away? No question. But I also recognize what a privilege it is to have had this time at all. Academia is fraught in all sorts of ways, and getting moreso every year, it seems. But this is definitely, absolutely a perk and I do not take it for granted.

So I’ll be back next week to get things ready for our Summer Community of Writers in July and all that comes before the fall semester begins in late August.

In the meantime, I will do nothing this final week except for what absolutely delights me, and hope that the creative energy and habits of self-care I began to cultivate this semester–imperfect and inconstant though they may be–follow me into my return.